Triticum Turgidum

Lying Dormant and Waiting to Bloom Since 2005

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Location: The Prairie, Illinois, United States

I am a beauty-loving ambidextrous higher-order primate who learned transcendental meditation at 7, statistical analysis at 23, tap dancing at 30, and piano at 35. I tolerate gluten, lactose, and differences of opinion, but not abuse. Or beets.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Happy Holidays

I don't get people who are offended by the phrase "Happy Holidays." They claim it's the product of political correctness. It's not.

It's the product of laziness.

I should know. I'm one of the laziest people I've ever met. If I can kill four birds with one stone by buying a single pack of cards that will work for everyone on my holiday list, sign me up. "Happy Holidays" covers everything, even holidays -- that is, holy days -- that are holy only to the card's recipient, such as football Saturdays, TGIFs, and Crazy Hat Day at the office.

Even if I know each recipient's religion, I still can't be sure (a) whether s/he celebrates it in any meaningful way, and (b) whether it's the only religion s/he celebrates. "Happy Holidays" covers all bases. It says, "Hey, I figured you'd be celebrating something around this time. Last time we talked you were Christian but thinking about converting to Judaism for the pastry. So, you know, whatever you're celebrating, I hope you find some happiness in it."

How could anybody be offended by a wish like that?

Given that we're on the cusp of two major holidays I know of (Passover and Easter) and probably several more I've never heard of or haven't bothered to explore (I told you I was lazy), I'd like to wish you all a big, generic, heartfelt

Happy Holidays!

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good one Kris LOLOL (Me too )and Have a Happy Whatever... and a good long weekend .How is that for pc. Love Katie

8:13 PM, April 13, 2006  
Blogger Jemima said...

I'm a Happy Holidays-er too. This marks me out as unusual in England. So I shall do as you asked and have a happy holiday, and hope that you do too.

3:36 AM, April 14, 2006  
Anonymous jonniker said...

I like happy holidays. It's nice, it's inclusive and it's...happy!

Happy holidays to you, too.

7:47 AM, April 14, 2006  
Blogger PFG said...

Funny this. I agree. The whole bad happy holidays thing is fundy grand standing. Too bad they can't all be catholics. We could tell them to be happy in their suffering as it brings them closer to christ. I love catholics. So fun.

I was once struck by the problem of what to say to people who I knew self identified as members of some established religion and who are clearly observing their holy day, but the holy day is not a happy one. Really, what the hell do you say when it's a day like today, Good Friday? Take Ash Wednesday, to continue with the catholic example. You know who's observing that day because they walk around with dirt on their heads. So what do you do? Say "Hey Francis! Happy Lent!" This extends to another popular religion in America. When I was one of three non-jewish kids in my hall at Brandeis, Yom Kippur posed much the same problem. I suspect "Yo Ari! How's the fasting?" might have been in bad taste.

10:44 AM, April 14, 2006  
Blogger mireille said...

Yeah, I found this very non-offending. Happy Holidays to you, too, K, G, C and little F!!!! xoxo

12:20 PM, April 14, 2006  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

Happy Holidays to you too!

Whoever is offended by a Happy Holidays card needs to pull the cobb out of their ass and just be happy someone thought enough of them to send them a card...BAH!

BTW--I loved your guilty feet comment on J's blog--seriously I was rolling!

I hope the "Holiday" bunny was good to baby Fi!

8:41 AM, April 16, 2006  

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