Triticum Turgidum

Lying Dormant and Waiting to Bloom Since 2005

My Photo
Location: The Prairie, Illinois, United States

I am a beauty-loving ambidextrous higher-order primate who learned transcendental meditation at 7, statistical analysis at 23, tap dancing at 30, and piano at 35. I tolerate gluten, lactose, and differences of opinion, but not abuse. Or beets.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Workin' at the...

I CANNOT pass a Dress Barn without humming the tune to Spinal Tap's "Sex Farm."

Working on a sex farm
Trying to raise some hard love
Getting out my pitch fork
And poking your hay

Scratching in your henhouse
Sniffing at your feedbag
Slipping out your back door
Leaving my spray

Sex farm woman
I'm gonna mow you down
Sex farm woman
I'll rake and hoe you down
Sex farm woman
Don't you see my silo rising high, high high high?

Working on a sex farm
Hosing down your barn door
Bothering your livestock
They know what I need

Working up a hot sweat
Crouching in your pea patch
Plowing through your beanfield
Planting my seed

Sex farm woman
I'll be your hired hand
Sex farm woman
I'll let my offer stand
Sex farm woman
Don't you hear my tractor rumbling by, by by by?

Working on a sex farm
Trying to raise some hard love
Getting out my pitch fork
And poking your hay

Passing a Dress Barn Woman, the chain's plus-size outlet, is even worse, as its name echoes the song's chorus: "Sex farm woman... I'm gonna mow you down..."

Needless to say, I saw one yesterday. Damn song's going to be in my head for the next week.


Blogger violetnoir said...

Woman, you are warped! :):):) I can't seem to stop chuckling.


3:20 PM, May 08, 2007  
Blogger WinterWheat said...

*blows kisses to R*

3:43 PM, May 08, 2007  
Blogger PFG said...

"poking your hay" is delivered so well in the song too. Just (re)watched that recently.

6:46 PM, May 08, 2007  
Blogger StyleSpy said...

I have long wondered what marketing jee-nee-uss decided that any female in her right mind would want to buy clothing from someplace that was called a "Barn." It completely baffles me.

2:38 PM, May 10, 2007  
Blogger WinterWheat said...

Style-spy: ITA. "First I'm gonna get somethin' to wear at the Dress Barn, then pick up some new speakers from Radio Shack, and then grab me some dinner at Pizza Hut." Barn, Shack, and Hut. They don't exactly speak to high-quality commodities, do they?

6:51 PM, May 10, 2007  
Blogger adamina said...

Wow--that song makes me want to drape myself in Dress Barn's offerings!

7:18 PM, May 10, 2007  

Post a Comment

<< Home