My New "Back to Obedience School" Duds

Hola, Cowgirl here. I live alone but keep two large monkeys as pets. Occasionally the female monkey will come home with clothes and jewelry for me. This time it's a green-and-blue necklace and a brown Gap sweater, size small, 100% cotton.

I like cotton 'cause it doesn't itch.

The female monkey seems excited these days because it's finally cool outside. She's even contemplating buying a new perfume for fall, l'Orientaliste Santal. She says it smells like no other sandalwood she's tried. She says it's the very essence of fall, all dry taupes and greys, like a walk in the woods in early November.

To me it smells like a romp in a just-raked pile of crispy brown leaves. I hope she hurries up and buys a bottle so I can rub my head in the mist that falls on the carpet after she sprays it on. I miss doing that.