Triticum Turgidum

Lying Dormant and Waiting to Bloom Since 2005

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Location: The Prairie, Illinois, United States

I am a beauty-loving ambidextrous higher-order primate who learned transcendental meditation at 7, statistical analysis at 23, tap dancing at 30, and piano at 35. I tolerate gluten, lactose, and differences of opinion, but not abuse. Or beets.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Ain't Too Proud to Share

I have something to confess. I love America's Next Top Model.

It feels awkward and dirty to admit this, like confessing to a foot fetish or to diapering my baby with newspaper to save money.

What kind of person loves ANTM? What kind of body image researcher loves ANTM? I hang my head in shame during the opening credits, then eat up the rest of the episode with mustard and relish.

Gregory says he can't stand the show, but every Wednesday he's right there with me, hoping Jade will be booted from the competition. (There's a Jade in every cycle; she's the arrogant one you love to hate.) At the end of each episode the girls (yes, they're called girls) line up in front of the panel of judges to find out who will be axed. The last girl to be named is the loser. Each time a girl's name is called, she walks up to Tyra Banks, the show's host, to receive some words of wisdom. Tyra always ends with a very serious and hushed, "Congratulations, X, you're still in the running toward becoming America's Next. Top. Model." Greg and I roll our eyes and wrinkle our noses each time she says that but you don't see us changing the channel.

Why do I love ANTM? I don't really know. I can only guess that I'm drawn in by the immense talent of the set designers, photographers, makeup artists, and photo retouchers (though that last group is never given credit for their work--hmmm). I also have this fascination with female group dynamics, having never successfully mastered them myself. It's the same reason the only other reality show I ever got into was--more embarrassment here--Sorority Life. (First season only. Does that redeem me?) I also like laughing with Greg at Tyra Banks' friendly narcissism and the show's shameless, nonstop product placement. Oh, and then there's Miss J, runway coach and the ugliest queen I've ever set eyes on. It also cracks me up that they show the girls eating these big plates of food at mealtime. Puh-leeze. You know in reality they're living on cigarettes and diet Red Bull.

All in all, great family entertainment.

I just hope the show is cancelled in a few years. There's no way I want my daughter watching that garbage.


Anonymous jonniker said...

LOL. I cannot tolerate Tyra Banks for even a second, for reasons unknown to me, otherwise, I'd be right there with you.

And I LOVED Sorority Life! I was in a sorority, and let me tell you - it's DEAD ON. How sad is that?

10:38 AM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

I totally agree with J--I cannot stand Tyra Banks. I used to think she was OK, then she got her own show and she tries to go all Oprah/Iyanla Vanzant/Dr. Phil on people. It just does not work for Tyra. Not at all. I have never watched an episode of ANTM.

Oh and Miss J? Bless his heart.

11:23 AM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger mreenymo said...

I admit it...I love the show, too, but don't always watch it. Miss J is the best!


3:13 PM, May 08, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh no I have been caught I watch it as well , that and What not to wear....And the worst is yet to come Canada's Top Model is about to start up. And as I watch TM,I have secret wishes some one will stab Jade in the back she will fall on Trya and gouch her eyes out (Me? non violence me)
In week of TV you think I could find something better to watch ?Shh now don't tell on me.(did you see I hid a comment down under picture of you and Fi ) I was being shy ,well really I am !OX' Katie

9:08 PM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger mireille said...

OMG, now I can confess I just finished watching five episodes in the marathon. That Jade. xoxo

10:13 PM, May 13, 2006  

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