Triticum Turgidum

Lying Dormant and Waiting to Bloom Since 2005

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Location: The Prairie, Illinois, United States

I am a beauty-loving ambidextrous higher-order primate who learned transcendental meditation at 7, statistical analysis at 23, tap dancing at 30, and piano at 35. I tolerate gluten, lactose, and differences of opinion, but not abuse. Or beets.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

IVF: Let the Fun Begin

So, last month I did this IUI cycle with Bravelle, which produced 2 follicles. Last Wednesday I found out I was pregnant, and could not believe it. So easy? Alas, no. Over the weekend, with G away and Mini-Wheat sick, I developed very suddenly some pretty severe flu symptoms including fever (103) and aches that felt as though my joints were filled with ground glass. I lamented getting the flu on the perfume board I frequent and was quickly corrected by a couple of cranks who informed me that I couldn't possibly have the flu, because the flu is too severe to allow an upright posture such as that needed to type on a keyboard. What these don't-quit-your-day-job medical intuitives didn't know was that I was also in the early stages of a miscarriage, and received confirmation of same from my docs that afternoon. So it was a weekend of hurry up and wait, and my miscarriage (really, a late period -- I wouldn't insult anyone who's gone through an advanced-stage miscarriage by claiming my experience is anything like theirs) started up on Sunday night. And really, it was just like a late period, but still: I'm sad.

So! Here we are, with a damned rotten cold, waiting to start our first, and we hope only, IVF cycle. Tonight I start the birth control pills. After 3 weeks or so, I start the fertility drugs. They're putting me on their most aggressive protocol. I'm nervous as hell about it, which is why I feel the need to document the experience here. I don't intend to turn this into a fertility blog, but some experiences you just have to share. I feel the need for witnesses, and for some kind of documentation so in the future, if I'm tempted to try it again, I can look back and decide if it's really wise given my subjective experience with the whole process.

The best part of the whole thing? I left the pharmacy with three bags filled with drugs. Those bags you see in the picture? They're the size of grocery bags. One woman in the pharmacy waiting area gaped at me on the way out. I told her, "This is what you need to make a baby the artificial way. If I were doing it the old-fashioned way, these bags would be filled with candles, CDs, and wine."


Anonymous jonniker said...

Oh K. Good luck to you. I've had quite a number of those chemical pregnancies and while they aren't anything like a late-stage miscarriage, you're right, that doesn't diminish their suckitude nonetheless.

I look forward to reading about your IVF tales and will keep my fingers crossed for both of you. xoxo

11:45 AM, May 14, 2008  
Blogger PFG said...

Ah crap, sorry to hear the news. I was thinking of you the other day because my sister told me when she passes the Dress Barn, it triggers a recall of Spinal Tap's "Sex Farm". This is your experience as well, no?

2:09 PM, May 15, 2008  
Blogger WinterWheat said...

J -- thanks for the encouragement. I didn't know you'd gone through a bunch of chems. I'm so, so sorry. :-(

PFG -- LOL, yes, it happens every time. "Workin' at the Dress Barn..." And the plus-size store, Dress Barn Woman, just recalls the chorus: "Dress Barn Woman, I'm gonna mow you down..."

2:13 PM, May 15, 2008  
Blogger violetnoir said...

I was wondering how you were doing, darling, so I am happy to see you post.

I am not, however, happy about the outcome of the first round. I so wish that had not happened to you and G, but I am happy to see that your sense of humor is still in tact.

Wishing you the best, K!

Hugs and love!

3:13 PM, May 15, 2008  
Blogger WinterWheat said...

R -- always a double blessing to "see" you. Hope to SEE you in a few months. xoxo

6:28 PM, May 15, 2008  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Sorry to hear the news. As you know from our private emails, I think you are some fantastic woman, and continue to root you on every step of the way.


9:08 PM, May 16, 2008  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Sorry to hear the news. As you know from our private emails, I think you are some fantastic woman, and continue to root you on every step of the way.


9:12 PM, May 16, 2008  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

That should read K... :)

9:13 PM, May 16, 2008  
Blogger KrashtieC said...

I'm so sorry. :-(
You had a really cruddy Mother's Day, didn't you? It makes me want to cry. I haven't checked your blog in a while and what a surprise to learn of this bad news.
Your tone in your blog would imply that you are handling this extremely well.
I know what it is to suffer the loss of a miscarriage - don't belittle it. Even though you weren't far along it is natural to mourn the baby you never had the chance to meet and to hold. I had a lot of "what if" questions even though I had given advice to friends who had miscarriages before me.
My faith strengthened me through it all and knowing that "all things work for the good for those who love the Lord" was a great sense of encouragement to me. Somehow I realize that baby wasn't meant for me. If I had that baby, then I would have never had Lauren who came a year later. She is such a joy and so special to me!
I hope you take the time to mourn and to lean on the shoulders of those of us who care so much about you. You know you can call me anytime - you have my number! You have an awesome hubby and daughter who will carry you through this time.
I'm hoping all will go well with this next round. My thoughts and prayers are with you K!
((Hugs)), KC

Hugs to Jonniker too for having to deal with the chemical pregnancies..gotta love the word, "suckitude". It fits.

9:17 PM, May 19, 2008  
Blogger WinterWheat said...

xoxoxoxo Krashtie xoxoxoxo

9:04 AM, May 20, 2008  
Anonymous meggie said...

K, you know I'm always thinking good, positive thoughts for you and I'll be crossing my fingers extra tight for you and G next month.

10:11 AM, May 20, 2008  
Anonymous angela said...

Keeping all of you in my thought!!


7:33 PM, May 20, 2008  
Blogger mireille said...

I'm tardy comment-wise, but my thoughts and good wishes are so with you,honey. SO with you. xoxo

9:17 PM, May 21, 2008  
Blogger WinterWheat said...

M -- you know all about this, and then some. Heartfelt hugs to you and your beautiful soul.

8:25 AM, May 22, 2008  
Anonymous Cheri said...

So sorry to hear about everything you've been through. I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you.

4:03 PM, May 29, 2008  

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