Triticum Turgidum

Lying Dormant and Waiting to Bloom Since 2005

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Location: The Prairie, Illinois, United States

I am a beauty-loving ambidextrous higher-order primate who learned transcendental meditation at 7, statistical analysis at 23, tap dancing at 30, and piano at 35. I tolerate gluten, lactose, and differences of opinion, but not abuse. Or beets.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween!

So!! It's been ages since I last posted because I've been pre-occupied with fertility matters again. I'm doing my second and final round of IVF. Yesterday they transferred four embryos--four!--because that's all we had and because all four are of lousy quality. Apparently for people like me whose eggs mill around their ovaries using canes and walkers (or as my friend M suggested, Jazzy power chairs, which look like tiny riding lawnmowers, see above), transferring four embryos doesn't raise the risk of us becoming Jon and Kate plus Eight; rather, it maximizes the likelihood that even one will take, which my doc says is about 10-15%. So we're really just doing this to put it past us and get on with life. Thank heaven Illinois is one of only nine states that require insurers to cover infertility treatment. Anyway, here's the gross, Halloween-relevant part--ready for it? After the transfer today I felt all achy and tired and all-around lousy. I chalked it up to the progesterone they have me taking at night. Then I woke in the middle of the night and realized I'd contracted a cold: sore throat, stuffy nose, shivers, headache behind the eyeballs. When the reproductive endocrinologist transferred the embryos today, he was whispering during the procedure. We asked if he was okay, and he said he had laryngitis and felt awful; he would have stayed home except for his commitment to complete my procedure. As far as I know, a cold needs a few days to germinate. Which means I probably contracted my cold from him before he even knew he had a cold, back on Monday when he did the egg retrieval. Since the egg retrieval requires the doctor to sit at the business end of the reproductive system and stick needles through the walls of the vagina and suck out the eggs from each follicle, it's likely that I contracted his cold through my vagina. He sneezed and I contracted his cold through my vagina. Bghggghhlllgghharghhhllgghhhaaargh! **SHUDDER** Can you think of anything grosser for Halloween? I can't. Now go eat some candy (or--heh heh--some eggs).
p.s. I realize this makes two vagina-themed posts in a row. Sorry. Next time I post I'll give equal time to the penis. Election day is coming up so there will be plenty of opportunities to acknowledge the penis.

14 Comments:

Blogger violetnoir said...

Ugh! Fascinating...yet nasty...

Hugs and Happy Halloween!

I like the fact that you are an equal opportunity employer and am looking forward to your next, ahem, "balanced" post!

Hugs and love!

10:56 AM, October 31, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoop!a WW post : ) Been thinking about you lately, and now I need to shake the image of Dr. sneezing into your vagina. Hope mini WW had a fun Halloween. Mine was a hippie, which we had to explain to her; she liked the outfit. Hope you feel better.

xo

delsfan1

1:56 PM, November 01, 2008  
Blogger PFG said...

Yes, it's a very evocative post. My image? Little surgical masks for your business.

Sorry you were sick for halloween.

11:24 AM, November 02, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

K., I'm wishing you all the best of luck with this cycle. I've been thinking about you and meaning to MUA-mail you; will do so soon. ((hugs))
Sue

8:53 PM, November 02, 2008  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

YOU ARE NOT RIGHT. As in you are wrong, as in your behavior is just WRONG!
ROFL!!!!!!!
Big D says colds are not contracted through the VAGINA unless you have a very special magic Vagina with it's own respiratory system....which would not surprise me AT ALL considering you are such a smug overachiever.

You crack me up--D got a laugh out of your post too.

Hugs on the fertility front.
Hugs to beautiful Fi.

8:50 PM, November 12, 2008  
Blogger StyleSpy said...

Okay, that puts a whole new spin on "sexually transmitted disease." Jeepers.

Good luck with the other germinating, as well, dear one.

10:01 AM, November 13, 2008  
Anonymous motordandy said...

We saw you had a link for the Jazzy powerchair. and a picture.
One dealer is
http://www.scooterville.com/-c-24.html

Hope this helps

2:33 PM, March 25, 2010  
Anonymous Motordandy said...

href="http://www.scooterville.com/">

Sorry Last link didn't work

2:37 PM, March 25, 2010  
Anonymous Scooterville said...

Thank You

2:40 PM, March 25, 2010  
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Apu

3:03 PM, July 30, 2015  
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6:45 AM, October 14, 2015  

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