Triticum Turgidum

Lying Dormant and Waiting to Bloom Since 2005

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Location: The Prairie, Illinois, United States

I am a beauty-loving ambidextrous higher-order primate who learned transcendental meditation at 7, statistical analysis at 23, tap dancing at 30, and piano at 35. I tolerate gluten, lactose, and differences of opinion, but not abuse. Or beets.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Jermajestina

This past weekend my dad came out to visit. He accompanied us to a hospital outside Chicago, where we got to experience the most kick-ass thing imaginable: 3D/4D ultrasound. Okay, maybe it's only kick-ass to a pregnant woman, but it's still cool as hell. Bonus: I got to meet the perfume phenom who set the whole thing up, Parisjasmal (see her blog, Monkeyposh, at right). Since I've used the word "kick-ass" twice already -- you cannot grow up in Detroit in the '70s without "kick-ass" becoming part of your lexicon -- I'll use it again: Parisjasmal is kick-ass. She offered the service (via her kick-ass husband) gratis, and doubled our pleasure by lunching with us afterward. Not only is she kick-ass, she's kind, smart, funny, and almost unbearably cute. How many people eat their pickle with a knife and fork?

Not my fetus, that's for sure. As you can see from the picture above, all objects will likely be delivered from plate (ground, shrub, scalp) to mouth via grubby little fingers.

When my mother-in-law found out we'd had a 3D/4D ultrasound, she said, "Did you cry when you saw her face??" Greg and I were like, Cry? How can you cry in the face of such cool technology?

So, about the technology: just what makes it so kick-ass?

First, you can see contours and actually get an idea what the baby will look like. Here were my thoughts, in rapid succession, upon first seeing my daughter's face: (1) What the hell is all that crap in my uterus? (2) She looks just like my mom after a face-squishing nap. (3) She looks just like my brother Todd the-morning-after-the-night-before, when the aspirin has yet to kick in. (4) She has her father's semi-prognathic brow ridge. (5) She's so cute!

Second (and this is the part that turns my brain into a mobius strip), you can actually cut away chunks of the image just like you'd crop a picture using Photoshop, but what's left behind isn't a planar slice. What's left behind is the part of the body that would be revealed if you'd removed the undesired portion with your bare hands, like a sculptor. In other words, all contours are intact and you can see features that were previously covered up in the image. PJ's hubby hacked off the back of my daughter's head (okay, cropped it) and rotated the image to show us the backs of her eyeballs.

I know, I know: I've just blown your mind.

Getting to see a reasonable facsimile of the face your child will have after she's born is a trip. It also complicates things. Greg and I have been trying to narrow down our list of names, and now some of our top candidates don't seem to fit. Jermajesty is out for sure; likewise Jermajestina. Blanche, Mabel, Ethelda, Muffy: out. Even some of the Czech names on our list now seem ludicrous. I believe you need to name a child for the adult it will become, not the baby it is, but still, look at that face and think Zdislava. Doesn't work now, won't work 50 years from now.

Despite such minor challenges, the whole experience was, on balance, a tremendous gift. Now I can imagine my daughter's little knitted brow while she punches me from inside (using both hands). And I get to amaze my technophile friends and colleagues with the 3D images, thereby temporarily raising my status in Geek World. And now that I have a face to look at, I'm finally motivated to cut back on all the smoking and drinking.

And that's probably the biggest gift of all.

(Come on, people, it was a joke.)

9 Comments:

Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

That experience sounds truly amazing! And I am happy your father was able to go with you as well!

Most importantly, I am delighted that you are happy, and will be gifted with a healthy daughter.
May you only have blessings.

8:44 AM, November 15, 2005  
Blogger mreenymo said...

Oh my god! K, this is incredible.

Thank you for sharing the lovely Jermajestina and this amazing technology with us.

And, yes, I have not met her...yet...only talked with her on the phone, but PJ is one incredible, lovely, caring and intelligent woman. :):)

So are you!

Hugs!

10:37 AM, November 15, 2005  
Blogger Kyahgirl said...

What a fabulous gift. I'm impressed!

When I was 32 weeks with my daughter I had an ultrasound. The tech showed me her little face and said 'I can even tell her gender from that feminine little face'. Oh, and see here where she's resting her head on your bladder? (uh yeah, the baby on the bladder sensation was something I was quite familiar with).
Anyway, just recently, my daughter was lying down and in the shadows and her face looked EXACTLY like the face from the 32 week ultrasound. It was so cool. Ron and I just looked at each other, pulled the U/S picture out, shared a goofy smile, and felt good about our procreational abilities. Such fun.
I'm really happy for you and G.

Laura

10:51 AM, November 15, 2005  
Blogger Jonniker said...

*screams*

OMIGOD! I'm so excited I might melt, honestly. LOOK AT HER! She's alive, chewing on her hands, waiting to MEET YOU!

*jumps up and down*

I don't know how you can bear waiting a few more months! *squeeeeee*

4:11 PM, November 15, 2005  
Blogger AngelaCh1 said...

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!

This is so freaking great. OMG I can't even get over it.

And YES, PJ is freaking Fantabulous with a capital F.

xox
Ange

10:30 PM, November 15, 2005  
Blogger Campaspe said...

WOW! I never got a 3D, I wish I had. Twins in 3D - sounds like a bad porn flick, though.

Parisjasmal is vivacious, funny and alarmingly pretty, so glad (& jealous) that you got to meet up with her.

6:50 AM, November 16, 2005  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

Hilarious Kris!
Thanks so much for the kind words.
It was lovely to meet you and G and Pops (and baby).

J-majesty looks even cuter than I remember! Acorn--tee heeeeee!
The technology is awesome. You being in the science field--I had a feeling you would dig it!

*Embarrassed* I think it was a floppy pickle that is why I had to fork and knife it...I think I ordered the messiest lunch at the restaurant. I was trying to have good manners which is foreign to me.

Thanks for the treats! You are pretty Kick Ass your own damn self!

xoxo

6:47 AM, November 17, 2005  
Blogger cjblue said...

OMG, K!!! That is seriously the coolest thing! They didn't have that when I was pregnant, just the regular ones, and I was super psyched to have those. This is amazing! You blew my mind, anyway. Incredible.

As for the name thing...I know how it goes. We went through books, hours of conversation and discussion, agonizing over the perfect names for our children. And with the 2nd, we still hadn't decided by the time she was born! We had it narrowed down to two and our older daughter, who was 3, walked in and said "Her name is Ariela." We said...OK. Then went back to tne baby name books for a middle name.

We even had to give our new doggie a middle name, and it took weeks of discussion and research to name her too. We're terrible.

I'm really happy for you, and the right name will come. ♥

10:53 AM, November 17, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW she is right there ,my mouth seems to be hanging open at the sight of her. 3D/4 is just the coolest. More wow's ,speechless here. Just really impressed, she is beautiful. Thanks for posting this I have never seen one !OX's Katie

11:08 AM, November 17, 2005  

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