Triticum Turgidum

Lying Dormant and Waiting to Bloom Since 2005

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Location: The Prairie, Illinois, United States

I am a beauty-loving ambidextrous higher-order primate who learned transcendental meditation at 7, statistical analysis at 23, tap dancing at 30, and piano at 35. I tolerate gluten, lactose, and differences of opinion, but not abuse. Or beets.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween!

So!! It's been ages since I last posted because I've been pre-occupied with fertility matters again. I'm doing my second and final round of IVF. Yesterday they transferred four embryos--four!--because that's all we had and because all four are of lousy quality. Apparently for people like me whose eggs mill around their ovaries using canes and walkers (or as my friend M suggested, Jazzy power chairs, which look like tiny riding lawnmowers, see above), transferring four embryos doesn't raise the risk of us becoming Jon and Kate plus Eight; rather, it maximizes the likelihood that even one will take, which my doc says is about 10-15%. So we're really just doing this to put it past us and get on with life. Thank heaven Illinois is one of only nine states that require insurers to cover infertility treatment. Anyway, here's the gross, Halloween-relevant part--ready for it? After the transfer today I felt all achy and tired and all-around lousy. I chalked it up to the progesterone they have me taking at night. Then I woke in the middle of the night and realized I'd contracted a cold: sore throat, stuffy nose, shivers, headache behind the eyeballs. When the reproductive endocrinologist transferred the embryos today, he was whispering during the procedure. We asked if he was okay, and he said he had laryngitis and felt awful; he would have stayed home except for his commitment to complete my procedure. As far as I know, a cold needs a few days to germinate. Which means I probably contracted my cold from him before he even knew he had a cold, back on Monday when he did the egg retrieval. Since the egg retrieval requires the doctor to sit at the business end of the reproductive system and stick needles through the walls of the vagina and suck out the eggs from each follicle, it's likely that I contracted his cold through my vagina. He sneezed and I contracted his cold through my vagina. Bghggghhlllgghharghhhllgghhhaaargh! **SHUDDER** Can you think of anything grosser for Halloween? I can't. Now go eat some candy (or--heh heh--some eggs).
p.s. I realize this makes two vagina-themed posts in a row. Sorry. Next time I post I'll give equal time to the penis. Election day is coming up so there will be plenty of opportunities to acknowledge the penis.