Triticum Turgidum

Lying Dormant and Waiting to Bloom Since 2005

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Location: The Prairie, Illinois, United States

I am a beauty-loving ambidextrous higher-order primate who learned transcendental meditation at 7, statistical analysis at 23, tap dancing at 30, and piano at 35. I tolerate gluten, lactose, and differences of opinion, but not abuse. Or beets.

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Looks comfy, but what's the sun protection factor?

Your Five Alternate Lives

Today I'm going to plagiarize shamelessly from Babs' Fab Blog "Women on the Verge of Thinking" ( She asked readers in her post "Your Secret Self" the following question: If you could do anything once, what would it be? This question reminds me of an exercise I performed while volunteering for an adolescent pregnancy prevention group when I was in graduate school. I was a mentor. Part of the mentor's job was to meet once every two weeks as a group and go through Big Picture exercises, the kind devised to get kids hoping to have babies within five years of puberty focused on broader issues, like occupational ambitions.

The exercise I'm remembering went something like this: If you had five lives to live over again and you could have a different occupation each time, what would you pick? It has to be something you can actually earn money doing; you can't say "I'd get paid a million dollars just for farting." But the amount of money earned or the difficulty of achieving success in your chosen field(s) shouldn't be primary concerns. The question is, what five things would you like to do?

The first time I tried this exercise, here were my five:

Performing musician

The second time I tried it, I ended up with:

Stand-up comic
Elite athlete

The third time:

Computer animator
Professional singer
No-kill dog shelter owner
Bartender in a pool bar in a tropical country

The fourth time I can't remember. I guess it's safe to say I like the idea of being an astronaut. And performing in front of people. And exercising my creativity. And, occasionally, leading a simple life in which my daily chores are pretty much spelled out for me.

Oh--and wearing a costume.

What are your five?

Friday, April 29, 2005

Hmmm... what complements green eyes?


I love my mother-in-law. Why? She wears wears pink. She wears her seatbelt. She wears her heart on her sleeve and her finger in her nose. She loves frosted cookies at Christmas and a good bottle of chilled white wine anytime. She's a prankster who wears Billy Bob Teeth and fake Coke bottle glasses while dining at fine restaurants. She calls me Krissy (even when she's sober). She's happy to see me.

Even if you don't have a good relationship with your in-laws (or don't have in-laws), take a moment to think of someone who has treated you like family. Now give them a call.

What's wrong with being a pig?

My Dad Just Forwarded Me this Joke

A man is driving down a road. A woman is driving down the same road from the opposite direction. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out his window and yells, "BITCH!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next curve he crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen...

Yes, but how does it compare with the Holy-day Inn?

Every Inn Is a Jesus Inn

This motel sits on a dusty roadside about 15 miles from my home. The first time G and I saw it we had to snap a picture. I wanted to memorialize it for two reasons: First, I love the campy font. Second, I could not stop thinking about what it must be like inside. Are there TWO bibles in every room? WWJD-embroidered towels? A chapel full of road- and spirit-weary travelers? Is it safer than other motels? Does it smell better? Is there wine in the minibar (grape juice for non-Catholics)? And the biggest question of all: How on earth did the Gideons manage to get a bible installed in EVERY SINGLE HOTEL ROOM in the entire country? What’s their secret?

As it turns out, it’s no secret at all. This, from the Gideons International website:

“The Gideons International, founded in 1899, serves as an extended missionary arm of the church and is the oldest Christian business and professional men's association in the United States of America. A board of distinguished Christian laymen, international in makeup, supervises the worldwide Gideon ministry, ensuring an efficient, economical operation. The association has more than 236,000 members, located in 179 countries of the world. They are united in carrying out the same program using the same methods to accomplish the one objective of winning others to Christ.

“Annually, The Gideons International is placing and distributing more than 59,000,000 Scriptures worldwide. To God be the glory! This averages one million copies of the Word of God placed every seven days, or 112 per minute! A non-profit organization, The Gideons International is generously supported by pastors and churches, who realize that presenting people with the gospel message is an indispensable element in winning people to Christ. Every dollar contributed by members of the churches is used to make it possible for others to have their very own copy of God's Word.”

Get this: If there are 236,000 members placing 59,000,000 bibles per year, that means each member places an average of 250 bibles per year, or about 5 per week. And not one of them is getting paid for it. I’m reminded of a famous quote attributed to Margaret Meade: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” I’m not a practicing Christian, but I can’t help but admire the Gideons’ tenacity. They had to start somewhere. Whatever our cause--religious, political, social, or artistic--let us remember the lesson taught by their success. We all have to start somewhere.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

It takes a very secure man...

The Truth About Dogs and Men

Today's entry in my Bad Girl's page-a-day calendar:

The dog: english bulldog
What he thinks it says: I don't care about looks
What it really says: I'm a slob too

The dog: great dane
What he thinks it says: I like things BIG
What it really says: I couldn't afford a horse

The dog: bichon frise
What he thinks it says: I'm très sophisticated
What it really says: I'm très confused about my sexuality

The dog: beagle
What he thinks it says: I love hunting
What it really says: I love Snoopy

The dog: jack russell terrier
What he thinks it says: I'm spunky, smart, and very tenacious
What it really says: I've got ADD

The dog: dalmatian
What he thinks it says: I'm an off-duty fireman
What it really says: My dog's name is Spot

The dog: collie
What he thinks it says: I'm a safe, reliable guy
What it really says: Will you and Lassie save me?

The dog: doberman pinscher
What he thinks it says: I'm in charge
What it really says: I like it ruff, ruff

The dog: mutt
What he thinks it says: I'm easygoing and unpretentious
What it really says: I'm easygoing and unpretentious

Mutt lovers unite. :-)

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Random Perfume Musing: Or des Indes

Those of you who know me as Tournesol from the fragrance board at Makeup Alley (MUA) know that I'm nuts about perfume and own far too much of it. In fact I collect it. Collect as in accumulate. And wear. And give away. And accumulate more. And display it (pictures of display forthcoming). And buy much of it--too much of it--unsniffed. I do, though, make every effort to try before I buy.

This past weekend I had the pleasure of trying Maitre Parfumeur et Gantier (MPG) Or des Indes. It reminded me of Guerlain l'Heure Bleue, that powdery, creamy, love-it-or-hate-it masterpiece (can you tell I'm in the love camp?), updated with a modern, spicy edge. I didn't buy it because I already have l'Heure Bleue. Today I received a sample of Or des Indes in the mail from MUAer SuburbanSue (bless her generous heart) and got the chance to try it again. Why, oh why didn't I buy it when I had it in my hot little hands?? I smell a cola nut accord underscored by dusty-spicy, rooty orris/iris, the kind that lends a cool, mineral loaminess. This is undoubtedly one of MPG's finest scents, and does not, emphatically NOT, have that wet dog accord so common to MPG fragrances, especially the musks. (I love and own Sanguine Muskissime but it can be too much at times.)

If you like l'Heure Bleue run out and give this appealingly nonlinear scent a try.


Welcome to my blog, Yelling Fire in a Crowded Theater. What is more dangerous, unprotected speech or unprotected sex? You be the judge.

More to come as I figure this whole blogging thing out...